If there’s one thing I’ve noticed while down here, it’s how the consumer freakin’ dominates the consumption scene. As a Canadian, I’ve grown accustomed to expect all forms of bureaucratic constipation and poor customer service.
I’ve come to assume the worst in any situation involving a transaction of time or money.
I’ve fallen through so many cracks - be it with my student loans people, my university admin folks or even just dealing with telus (Phone company in Alberta for all ye yankees), I just assume that I’m going to have a 45 minute wait time on an automated phone system no matter who I call.
In Canada, I have literally come to expect long wait times, bureaucratic bumbling and administration that moves slower than KY Jelly in Antarctica. And that’s not just for MRIs - I’m talking about everything.
It’s like, down here, everything runs so smoothly, I’m beginning to wonder what the catch is.
Take, for example, setting up my electricity. All I had was a 10 minute phone convo with an actual person (just had to press 1 for a new account), and then I had to go to a check cashing facility to get my ID verified at a cost of a dollar.
To hook up my phone - no 45 minute wait followed by three transfers between departments. A phone call, a fax and another phone call was all I needed to get unlimited long distance anywhere in North America PLUS ADSL internet. no hook-up fees or anything. Just a new account, starting at 63 bucks a month.
Suck on that, telus.
On Saturday - my roomie locked her keys in her car, and I called AAA. They actually apologized for putting me on hold for 15 freaking seconds, and after a 20 minute wait, a tow truck was at the car, slim jim wedged right in the door. The dude just rolled up, did his thing and fekked off.
Another example: I had not received my Social Security number in the mail as of this week - I need that to get on payroll and get this ball rolling. Well, my problem was I had to go down to the office during regular office hours, only I had no car. My supervisor at work overheard my dilemma and tossed me the keys to his truck right away.
Who does that? People at work are so freakin’ nice, it’s awesome.
So I go down to the SS office to get my digits, and took me a number, expecting the usual 45 minute wait that seems to pervade every interaction I have ever had in my home country of Canada. Within 2 minutes, my number was called, as there was a streamlined process, depending on what you were there for.
Well, I explained to the federal office lady how I hadn’t received my SS#, and she actualy seemed genuinely concerned, like there was some sort of incongruence in the cosmos. WTF. Within 2 minutes she had a signed and sealed piece of paper with my SS# on it.
So I had to take this SS# down to a bank to open up an account. I went with Wachovia, because it’s one of the bigger banks. There’s like two branches just 1 block apart in this town - banks are everywhere down here. Anyways, I walk up to a teller (again, no wait, which was weird) and stated my intentions to open an account. The teller hollered over to John, some guy in a suit wandering the back hallways with his eyes wandering along the ceiling.
It turns out John is the Bank manager guy or something, and he sits me down to open an account.
“You don’t want any of these accounts - those’ll cost you money. If you put 100 bucks in this account, all your checks are free, no charges for debit transactions, and all the online banking you want is available. Just realize that when you use another bank’s ATM, we both ding you service fees. To remedy that, always, always use the ATMs in the Wawa - they’re not affiliated with any bank, but Wawa itself, and they don’t charge fees”.
Bing, bang boom.
15 minutes later, I have a no-fee bank account with no debit purchase or cheque (check) limit on an opening balance of 100 bucks.
The only diff down here is that when you deposit money into the ATM, it doesn’t show right away. Other than that, this effin’ rocks.
I sat down tonight to get a 1/2 hour of shut-eye before heading out for a bit.
I haven’t had my SS# in the system for even a week now.
Already the telemarketers are calling.
Somehow they know I’m into outdoorsy stuff.
WTF.
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DoubtingThomas 10.17.06 at 12:26 am
Oh yeah, they have a no call list to stop telemarketers from calling you. If you get on the list, and the creeps call you, you can get money from them! Got yer gun yet?
islandgrovepress 10.17.06 at 7:56 pm
I am heartened that things in the States are still the way they were thirty years ago. They have a different way of doing business, don’t they?
Nastyboy 10.18.06 at 1:12 am
I think it’s that way down there because they never really know who might be packing a gun. Best not to piss anyone off.
I’m just kidding of course. By and large Americans are extremely hospitable people. But they also expect good customer service. One of the reasons it’s so crappy up here is that no one ever says anything when they’re treated poorly.
They just give that clinched toothed robotic, “thank you” they’ve been programed to give and carry on.
islandgrovepress 10.19.06 at 2:47 am
Too bad the old Baker Hotel in Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas has been torn down.
How nice it was to book a room stay as long as you like and not even be asked to pay up front. “Pay you Wednesday” and that was cool with them.
Yep. Americans are a hospitable people.
Ivan
Joe 10.27.06 at 10:41 pm
Problem in Alberta is that everyone is so understaffed….. That and service people move at “Prairie Speed” which would just not be acceptable in the US.